Mr. Right

Whenever I was in eighth grade, I met the coolest cat ever. Of course I had a crush on him. Every morning in homeroom, I'd stare at him until he  blushed. Apparently that wasn't enough evidence for him to figure out that I was diggin him. Oh well. I daydreamed about being his girlfriend each day in middle school and now I get to live it each day and instead daydream about marrying him. I get that we're still just two teenagers in puppy love but damn I wanna marry this kid!

For those of you out there struggling, thinking Mr. Right isn't out there or maybe your thinking he's too far out of your reach... don't lose hope. Hes in the last place you'll ever look.

Word Count: 507

     Word to the wise: Never ask a girl why she likes her boyfriend. She’ll probably get a childish grin across her face and won’t shutup for the next few hours. Most girls can go on for hours and name more reasons than they have hair follicles about why their boyfriend is so much better than anyone else’s. Most girls... But I’m not one of those.

                When someone asks you ‘Why?’, your answer begins with ‘Because…’. What did English class teach you about this word? It’s a conjuction whose meaning is ‘for the reason of; due to the fact that…’. In Layman’s terms: When you hear the word ‘Because’, you’re about to get an excuse or a reason. You’re about to get an explanation to justify someone’s actions, thoughts, or feelings. And that’s not how my heart works. I can’t give you a million excuses why I like my boyfriend. I can’t give you a hundred reasons why I like my boyfriend. My heart doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone. It likes who it likes and there isn’t a damn reason why.

                So if you ask me if my boyfriend is cute, I’m going to say yes – because he is. If you ask me if he makes me smile, I’m going to say yes – because he does that, too. He also has one of the best playlists I’ve ever heard, he’s smooth without even trying, he gives the best hugs, and I adore his curls. These aren’t reasons why I like him. These are additives, extras, bonuses, things that make liking him even better. I don’t like him because he has blonde curls that I can run my fingers through. If that would be true, I wouldn’t feel the same way if he cut his hair.

                If you have to base your feelings for someone on physical characteristics, material possessions, or even on anything at all, you probably don’t have any real feelings at all. If you have to back your love up with excuses or reasons, maybe you need to rethink it. People always say that there’s no such thing as falling out of love because you either still do or you never did. But there’s something everyone’s missing.  The wife that doesn’t love her high school sweetheart anymore after 12 years is probably telling the truth. Don’t call her a liar. She fell in love with the seventeen year old boy who walked her down the hallway and carried her books.  One day, she woke up and that boy was gone. He grew older, into a man who is starting to wrinkle and whither.

                So, back to the original question: Why do I like my boyfriend? Why do I want to be with him? What about him makes me want to stay? If the past four hundred seventy one words didn’t answer any of those questions, maybe I can answer with just three more. Why do I Iike my boyfriend? I just do. Plain and simple, short and sweet. I didn’t need five hundred words.

To Procreate or Not To Procreate...

     I work retail. This is a fact I have been too ashamed to admit for the longest time in my life and I think it's finally time I embrace it. Honestly, there are so many reasons why I hate it and sometimes I really wonder why I don't just quit. I've wanted to. "It's a steady job" mom says. "You need to save money" mom says. Well, I never thought a job would have as much impact on my life as this one has. In the almost ten months I've spent on those rubbery mats in front of a touchscreen cash register, I've had so many compromised ideas about life and what I thought I'd wanted. One of the main ones is having children.
     When you go out anywhere you always hear screaming kids. Always. When you're at a church, there's a kid who always cries when everyone else is silent for prayer. When you go to a basketball game or a football game, there's always one kid screaming before the end of the national anthem, ruining the whole thing. Walking through the aisles at your local walmart, there's always some brat screaming about what he or she wants mommy to buy that she just won't. They. Are. Everywhere.
     Don't get me wrong, I want kids. Or I really did at one point, at least. Garrett and I have dreamt of reproducing, screwing them up, and then growing old alone together when our children grow away from us. We even have names picked out :D But maybe we should just stick with dogs...
     A girl I went to elementary school with is graduating from our class separately because she had to drop out of school for having a baby. For the longest time, I thought I wanted that, too. I had baby fever so badly and wished that Garrett and I would accidentally have a baby but the other week, I had the best realization the planet. I really felt amazing inside after I thought this, too. The babymama was posting on Facebook about how she had just been hired for the first time and couldn't wait for her first paycheck. What is she doing with the money?

a) Buying her baby some clothes

b) saving for the baby's college    

c) getting tattoos and piercings     

     Hint: It's the last one. For real, I turn 18 in two days and I'm soooo excited to get my nose pierced and get some kind of little tattoo and just celebrate that I'm 18 finally and am old enough to do these things. I can understand why she wants these things. But if I had a baby, I would spend all my money on him/her...not putting things on my body that are COMPLETELY non-essential. For a few days after I decided I was going to do this, I felt somewhat guilty about spending money on these things but then the amazing thoughts hit me, the ones I was telling you about! I don't have a baby! So many customers have told me that having kids ties you down and that they wouldn't recommend it. They always say that. "I don't recommend it but I don't regret it". I have really started to not want kids. I'm not whatever about it anymore. I don't want them. Some of me even hopes that I'm infertile so I don't have to worry about protection in the future and won't have consequences. (Sorry to those of you out there who are infertile and are offended by my wishes).

     Honestly I'm very motherly to the friends around me and that's enough for me. I don't want to be responsible for registering a child for kindergarten and taking them to the doctor for every little thing.  I don't want to share Garrett with a baby who has half of him living inside. I don't want that. I'm reading a Nicholas Sparks book right now called The Best of Me and one of the main characters and his wife were unable to have children and these characters were so in love and romantic. I know I shouldn't hold Garrett to the standards of a Nicholas Sparks book because that just isn't fair but I can't help it. I can't help feeling that Garrett and I's future marriage will be stronger without kids.

     So, readers, if you disagree and would like to convince me to be Pro-Procreating, let me know. Until then, I'll let you know if something else changes my mind. 

Broken heat, Boyfriends, and Babies

     As I type, my fingers are being overcome by frostbite in this god-awfully cold building. Summer is officially over now and fall is close to its end as well. I'm not sure if the school forgot to turn on the heat or if they made some more budget cuts over the summer and this is one of them (they stopped supplying the nurse with emergency tampons!) but either way, I see blankets and sweatshirts everywhere. This is how its been since the very first day of school in Sunny September. Unfortuntely for me, I have a study hall for an hour and a half Every Single Day. Do you know how hard it is to sleep when you can't get warm. I just feel bad for all the skinny little girls without any insulation. Fleece and flannel, my dears!
     My biggest worry since the start of senior year was supposed to be college. I'm waaay behind on the process and even paid a late fee to take my SATs in October so I could apply to colleges by now. But have you checked tuition rates lately? I can't afford $32,000 in loans to pay back. And that's just for an Associate's Degree. I admit, college has been a tad bit of my worries since my Banking & Finance teacher demanded that I go to college because there's no reason why I shouldn't (finances should never hamper someone with a dream). But the main chunk has definitely been Le Boyfriend. Areas of concern? His homework, his grades, his unemployment, and other things that his parental units should worry about. But here I am, staying awake at night, worrying about how my boat can float with this anchor attached to my ankles, when I should really just focus on my future and how I can better it.
     For about two weeks, Garrett and I had this dream of moving to East Berlin, PA and live in a small apartment while attending classes at YTI. He would receive his certification in motorcycle mechanics and mine would come 12 months after as an Associate's Degree in Business Administration. How would that ever work when he doesn't have a job and I have the biggest shopping addiction in the planet? I don't want to leave home until I am good and ready. (18 is not good and ready...). Especially if I have a boyfriend that I would have to parent. That's just added responsibility that I don't need. But anyways, any hopes I have of the two of us being a team rather than me pulling dead weight are currently being crushed because he is failing math.If he doesn't pass this course, he will have to pay to retake it in summer school and will not walk with me at graduation. I told him at the beginning of the year that I had to focus on my school work and college applications and I couldn't babysit him. He told me he would be fine and not to worry. Just one single marking period without my close watch and he is failing math. How is he going to hold a job and take care of our family? How is he going to get through Tech school? I'll tell you how: If I hold his hand the entire time. No me gusta.
     And on top of everything else, my period came twice this month for some unboknownst reason and the internet says that women get this all the time... as a signal of their first pregnancy. Lord have mercy on my soul!

Blogger

So I went searching into the wonderful world of Blogger today to try to find a new obsession. My favorite show, Big Rich Texas has recently ended its current season and I need something to keep my eye on. I thought Why not a blog? Well, I went to my own blog and clicked on the Next Blog>> button to try to find one with a good writing style, humor and a cutting-edge topic.
    
Unfortunately, the blogs I looked at won't get any more page views from me. There were two types: Ministry (yawn) or Family (eye-roll). While there are people out there looking to further their walk with Jesus, I find it unnecessary to have 49-50% of blogs be dedicated to it. But that's just me - The methods of ministry are entirely their choice and we have freedom of religion. As for the many blogs about families, I just don't find it entertaining to read about how adorable someone's kids are. I bet you think your kids are the greatest thing in the planet - but so does every other proud parent on the planet. It must be a mother thing that I, obviously, don't understand.
    
The only thing I saw that I have in common with some of those Bloggers are that we all want more page views. I know I do! But how do we get the word out about our blog? I write about the people in my life and I write some pretty personal things - I don't want the town or my family knowing what I write about - but I still want other people to see it.
    
All well, I'll do some research. And those of you experienced Bloggers: Feel free to send some knowledge my way! I love getting personal messages. In the mean time, I'll keep looking for my new obsession. It could be one of you...

Camp NaNoWriMo

   One of my first entries in here was about NaNoWriMo. If that sounds really awkward to you, check out the other entry to clear things up and then report back here.

   All clear? Okay, well the Wonderful People of NaNoWriMo started something new this year. Rather than just one month out of the year to write as much as possible *cough, cough - fifty thousand words -cough, cough* they have opened up to June and August as well! EXCITEMENT! Last time, I failed miserably and I couldn't even reach the sorry amount of twenty-five thousand words required for my Writing Workshop class at school. My ending word count?

Sad Face: 16, 527 (or something like that)

If I had a wine glass, I'd throw it in the air and toast to two more tries at reaching 50,000

Let's be honest here, it's summer. I just got a job as a K-Wench at K-Mart, I'm no longer single, and there's no drama to feed my creative writing appetite. How the heck am I going to do this? Well, let's hope June and August are very dramatic months for my Ko-Workers. Just call me MissConfidant!

     But seriously, readers, this AdventureWoman isn't so sure she can do it. Wanna leave me some luck in my inbox? Maybe a four-leaf clover I can download? I'll sure need it. Hmmm...maybe I should super-glue a horseshoe on the lid of my laptop. Or maybe I'll get lucky and my classmates are correct about the 'Zombie-Apocolypse' taking the US by storm, originating in Miami. My, my, I'll miss my classmates and their overactive imaginations.

If you enjoy writing, you should check out the site ---> campnanowrimo.org. I love it (when I'm not failing miserably with it) and I bet I'll love it more if I actually complete my challenge. For those of you that give it a whirl, check out my NaNoWriMo entry from November for a little bit of 'What-Not-To-Do' gold and I wish you all the luck my German background can offer.

Oh -- And don't get your face eaten off by nude, Bath-Salt-Ridden Zombies

Let It All Go

Let It All Go

     Okay, I'm a bit of a Drama Queen - A lot a bit, actually. I've come to admit it to myself in the past few months. Of course I always blamed my problems in the past on everyone else. It wasn't me causing problems, it was the other girls involved. Eventually, though, I started to realize that all the only consistency in each friendship was me. With the help of a boyfriend (Boys are impervious to starting drama) I was given a reality check. Girls, though we hate to admit it, we can actually learn a lot from the male species and their naturally laid-back personalities.

    
Drama has four parts:
1) Romping [What pissed you off]
2) Reaction [How you respond to the problem]
3) Retaliation [Your actions of revenge]
4) Result [How everything plays out in the end]

And three to five characters:
1) Romper
2) Victim
3) Bystanders
(4) Bystanders on Romper's side - Rompisites
(5) Bystanders on Victim's side - Victisites

      You can't control the Romping. If someone

does something to you that isn't okay with you,    

you have the right to be upset. What you can        

control is the way you respond to it (#2). As         

far as different reactions, you have three               

basic choices:                                                         

1) Anger                                           

2) Self-Pity                                       

3) Redirection                                  



-Anger is when you get pissed at the other
person and anyone else involved who isn't
on your side.

-Self Pity is feeling sorry for yourself and
trying to make other people feel sorry for
you, hoping it'll make them take your side.

-Redirection is turning your mind over to
something else, something more productive
and not letting the Romping (or the Romper)
under your skin.

The best choice? Redirection.
Keeping yourself calm and shaking it off are the
best things to do because anger only ruins one
person: yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself keeps
your mind focused the Romping, making the
situation escalade. Just stay calm and go fishing

or something.

Obviously, though, most people       

won't think about what they're doing       

and they'll just let their anger fly or         

start thinking to themself about how       

unfortunate they are. It's really easy        

to do those things. While Redirection     

is the best choice, it isn't the only            

choice. And, your reaction is usually      

natural and happens without your           

realization. Which is why it's important 

to pay attention to Part 3, because you   

have total control over this. It's muy      

importante that you use your head on    

this one! Muy Importante!                   

RETALIATION

     Your way of taking revenge on the Romper (And

possible Rompisites) isn't something that can be picked apart,

color coded and numbered. There are so many different

things that you can choose to do. The best thing, though, is to

eliminate Part 3 because it'll lead to a better Part 4. Seriously,

I've never heard of Good Revenge. Ever. While it may be fun, it

(once again) just escalades the situation. Think about it:

The Romper started it by doing something that upset you - Revenge

will just turn them into the Victim and you into the Romper. Then,

they can choose to take revenge on your revenge and the roles will

shift again and... Ah! It's just crazy and it never ends unless you end

it - Don't assume they will. I'm not saying you should wave your

white flag in truce. I'm just saying you should end the war by not

picking another battle.

     Simple enough? Swallow your pride and move on.

Part IV: Result

Perhaps the best part is the very end when both sides move on and forget it ever happened. That's how most drama really is: petty, unnecessary and short-lasting. A lot of the time, the Romper and the Victim become friends a short time after. (NOT IN ALL CASES, THOUGH! And, repeated Romping usually signals someone who isn't worth the friendship - Tell her to get lost.) The waters will calm down and the boats will settle and sail away from each other. Part 4 is always my favorite. And it comes a LOT quicker if you don't let the Romping get under your skin.

Remember:

-Write it out (journal, blog, random piece of paper)

-Vent only to those you trust (Some of your Victimites might be Rompisite spies)

-Keep your mind off of it

-Try not to get revenge

-Let it go (Not necesarily forgive but try to forget)

Good luck to you and your World War III's, my Victimites!