When you go out anywhere you always hear screaming kids. Always. When you're at a church, there's a kid who always cries when everyone else is silent for prayer. When you go to a basketball game or a football game, there's always one kid screaming before the end of the national anthem, ruining the whole thing. Walking through the aisles at your local walmart, there's always some brat screaming about what he or she wants mommy to buy that she just won't. They. Are. Everywhere.
Don't get me wrong, I want kids. Or I really did at one point, at least. Garrett and I have dreamt of reproducing, screwing them up, and then growing old alone together when our children grow away from us. We even have names picked out :D But maybe we should just stick with dogs...
A girl I went to elementary school with is graduating from our class separately because she had to drop out of school for having a baby. For the longest time, I thought I wanted that, too. I had baby fever so badly and wished that Garrett and I would accidentally have a baby but the other week, I had the best realization the planet. I really felt amazing inside after I thought this, too. The babymama was posting on Facebook about how she had just been hired for the first time and couldn't wait for her first paycheck. What is she doing with the money?
a) Buying her baby some clothes
b) saving for the baby's college
c) getting tattoos and piercings
Hint: It's the last one. For real, I turn 18 in two days and I'm soooo excited to get my nose pierced and get some kind of little tattoo and just celebrate that I'm 18 finally and am old enough to do these things. I can understand why she wants these things. But if I had a baby, I would spend all my money on him/her...not putting things on my body that are COMPLETELY non-essential. For a few days after I decided I was going to do this, I felt somewhat guilty about spending money on these things but then the amazing thoughts hit me, the ones I was telling you about! I don't have a baby! So many customers have told me that having kids ties you down and that they wouldn't recommend it. They always say that. "I don't recommend it but I don't regret it". I have really started to not want kids. I'm not whatever about it anymore. I don't want them. Some of me even hopes that I'm infertile so I don't have to worry about protection in the future and won't have consequences. (Sorry to those of you out there who are infertile and are offended by my wishes).
Honestly I'm very motherly to the friends around me and that's enough for me. I don't want to be responsible for registering a child for kindergarten and taking them to the doctor for every little thing. I don't want to share Garrett with a baby who has half of him living inside. I don't want that. I'm reading a Nicholas Sparks book right now called The Best of Me and one of the main characters and his wife were unable to have children and these characters were so in love and romantic. I know I shouldn't hold Garrett to the standards of a Nicholas Sparks book because that just isn't fair but I can't help it. I can't help feeling that Garrett and I's future marriage will be stronger without kids.
So, readers, if you disagree and would like to convince me to be Pro-Procreating, let me know. Until then, I'll let you know if something else changes my mind.
