Monday, March 5, 2012

If I Were Single

     Today, for the bazillionth time, I heard a girl bitch about being single. So, I compiled a list of why being single isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm the pain-in-the-ass that always encourages people to look at the bright side of things when they seem down. Unfortunately, this girl was too down in the Forever-Alone dumps to listen to me. So, to those of you out there that are lacking that significant other, stop thinking there's something wrong with you.

'Having a Boyfriend may cause loss of sleep, loss of appetite, financial decline, academic decline, inability to concentrate, removal of self-confidence and other side effects. Please contact your doctor if any of these seem life-threatening.'

     For real, girls, being single isn't totally a problem. I'm in a relationship and, most of the time, I wish I wasn't. The fact that the guy is so amazing is keeping me in. I hate committing. I really do. Long relationships are the worst for me. I can't even use the same cell phone for the two-year duration of my Sprint contract.

     If I were single...I'd get sooo much more sleep. I stay up late texting him and, if I happen to fall asleep early, he'd send me a message or two asking me if I'm mad or something before he finally gets the hint. Just as soon as I'd drift off, Rrrrr Rrrrr, my phone would go off: U there?

And, I'd sleep in later. I wake up early now because I get to school early so I can spend time with him before the bell rings. I could get another half hour of sleep. Or I'd spend more time getting ready.

And, I'd get more sleep because instead of writing him love notes in study hall, I'd catch up on the sleep I may have missed.

     If I were single...I'd do better in school. Instead of blowing off homework to go hang out with him, I'd work on it, learn from it, and get practice. Rather than spending my classes staring at the clock, counting the minutes until I see him again, I could pay attention and learn the material. I'm sure my grades would soar.

And, rather than spending every single possible second in between classes talking to him and holding his hand, I could get to class and be on time. I go out of my way to meet him somewhere and he does nothing.

     If I were single...I'd have more money. I spend forty bucks a week in gas. That's how much it takes to fill up my tank. Where does all that go? Simple. Driving to Garrett's house, picking Garrett up, going out with Garrett. That's where it goes. I mean, besides school. But if I only went to school and back, I'd only go through half a tank a week.

     If I were single...I'd have more friends. When it comes to texting, I hate it. I don't answer anyone unless it's Garrett. Even my best friends. I'm just not into it. I can't explain it. And, anytime my friends want to hang out, I always put it second to whatever GarBear wants to do. Even when his friends want to do something, he always tells them No so he can spend time with me. But when he actually does go with his friends, I either hang out with them, too, or he's texting me the entire time he's there. So not ideal.

That's just four reasons and there are plenty more. But yet...I'm still in a relationship. Yeah I don't understand it either.