Avdiciro pulls into the driveway and notices a white car he's never seen before parked outside his girlfriend's house along the front sidewalk. He parks his car in front of her garage and looks around to see if anyone might be lurking around the area but the neighborhood is quiet this Saturday morning. He removes his keys and gets out of his car, fixing his tie in the reflection in the car window before heading to the garage door. He hopes Morgan, his girlfriend, is ready to go by now. It's her cousin's wedding, after all, and he doesn't want them to be late.
"Morgan, I think your neighbors are parking in front of your house again. Do you want me to knock on some do-" Avdiciro abandons his sentence when he sees a familiar face sitting on Morgan's couch.
It takes him a few minutes before he recognizes the guy's dirty blonde curls and icy blue eyes.
"Hello." He says to Morgan's rather recent ex-boyfriend.
He doesn't want to be overly friendly, as he doesn't like the guy and views him as possible competition, but he doesn't want to be rude and risk displeasing Morgan.
"Hey." The ex says simply.
Avdiciro meanders his way to the kitchen and nervously checks the refrigerator for nothing in particular. The ex just sits on the couch and watches TV like he's exactly where he belongs. Thinking back, Avdiciro remembers Morgan saying she bought the house after the two had broken up because she wanted completely new scenery. The ex looks like he's been in this living room thousands of times before. For a moment, Avdiciro worries maybe he has been in this living room before - behind Avdiciro's back. Even though he isn't a live-in boyfriend, he feels really heated at the idea Morgan might have invited another guy into her house behind his back and possibly had an affair.
Avdiciro takes a deep breath and realizes what he's saying. He's a personal trainer. Perfecty sculpted physically and financially set for life, as he comes from money. This ex-boyfriend is more than a little pudgy and doesn't exactly make a decent living. After all, Avdiciro has already spoiled Morgan with enough for her to know that he's a once-in-a-lifetime kind of companion, one that she'd be crazy to give up.
Avdiciro closes the refrigerator when he hears heels clacking on the wooden floors in the hallway. When Morgan appears in front of him in an adorable dark grey dress and
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Untitled
At the end of a day's work, the clock seems to drag by a lot more than it does on your day off. Hour long lunch breaks feel like fifteen minutes but an hour on the clock feels like an eternity. When the clock finally strikes five, Vera packs up all of her stuff and rushes toward the door to avoid any possible interruptions on her just-started weekend. The cool air hits her cheeks as she opens the door so she pulls her coat a little tighter.
"Have a nice weekend, Vee!" Someone calls behind her.
Rather than turning around and running the risk of getting stuck in a long conversation, Vera waves behind her back and lets the cold air
"Have a nice weekend, Vee!" Someone calls behind her.
Rather than turning around and running the risk of getting stuck in a long conversation, Vera waves behind her back and lets the cold air
Monday, October 26, 2015
Starting With You
My first best friend was Ashley and we were four. Every day at day care, we played with blocks and fake kitchen sets and went on the best imaginary adventures. We spent every single day together through the week and sometimes hung out on the weekends, too. Something happened one day, though, because I remember going through elementary school and my mom requesting she and I not be in the same classes because we couldn't get along. Over the years, I had friends here and there that I knew well enough to come over and hang out but none I considered best friends. At least, not until seventh grade.
One day, I was partnered with this girl in woodshop I'd never met before. At first, she was kind of quiet and that wasn't really my style so I asked her a bunch of questions until I found something we could talk about. Her name was Emma and after that first day, we were the absolute best of friends. I'll always remember that friendship because of what happened the day after I first met Emma. I walked into homeroom and some popular girls were laughing about something. I sat down next to one and asked them what was going on and they told me. I don't remember what it was exactly, I just remember they were making fun of Emma. At that moment, I was faced with a tough decision because middle school is the peak of life when popularity matters the most. Up until then, I was pretty good friends with the popular girls and I knew I could make fun of Emma with them and be in the in-crowd for the rest of my grade school career. Instead, I got up from the desk I was sitting in and walked over to sit down next to Emma, ignoring the popular girls. I knew it would ruin my repuation but I liked talking to Emma and being a friend to her felt way better than being friends with those other girls. I introduced Emma to some friends I'd already had when she told me she just moved from Ohio. She introduced all of us to Sara, who also just moved from Ohio. So the five of us kind of stuck together for seventh grade and I can honestly say it was one of the best years of my entire academic life. Emma and I hung out all the time. We had sleepovers and watched horror movies like the Grudges but also watched chick flicks like She's the Man and John Tucker Must Die.
Truthfully, Emma and I never stopped being friends. We were put into separate sections in eighth grade and slowly grew apart as we made new friends. She decided to hang out with a crowd of people who were pretty much the entire opposite of me. I missed her and I missed having someone close but that was part of life. At the end of eighth grade, her mom was tired of her misbehavior and she pulled her out of school and moved the family back to Ohio, cutting Emma off from our town in the mean time. That was hard but it got to the point where it was a fun surprise getting an email from Emma and it was like having a virtual pen pal when I wrote her messages about my life and read messages about hers. Nowadays, we're friends on Facebook and she and I would have never kept our friendship thriving had she stayed in this town. I'm more traditional and old school and she's picking up new trends like piercing her septum and going to school for art. She's happy though, and I applaud her for that. I miss the confidence she used to instill in me.
Losing Emma was hard. Sara and I became really good friends in eighth grade but it wasn't the same because Sara wasn't someone I wanted to hang out with outside of school. In ninth grade, I became closer friends with Caitlin and Emily from seventh grade and even met some of the friends they'd made in eighth grade. My next best friend was someone I'd met during softball in middle school that I had homeroom with in ninth grade. We were comparing schedules on the first day and realized we had tons of classes together so we grew pretty close. Her name was Victoria and we were a pretty great team. She had the answers I didn't and I had the answers she didn't. She pushed me to be the best I could possibly be and I taught her to relax sometimes. We were at each other's houses all the time and I don't think an hour went by that we weren't communicating somehow. She and I were best friends all through ninth grade and tenth grade, despite her disapproval of my first boyfriend. There were other fake best friends between tenth and eleventh grade but Victoria and I were the ultimate best friends. We even went to homecoming together in eleventh grade. What happened, you might ask? It started with a major disapproval for my second boyfriend and everything just kind of snowballed until we just blew up one day and stopped being friends. In her absence, I mostly depended on my then-boyfriend for friendship and he loved the attention.
During my senior year, I became best friends with a freshman who was excited about high school and we blended so well because we were so much alike. On the first day, she needed somewhere to sit so I told her she could sit with me and my friends. She blended in well and she and I became so close we would spend entire weekends together and I actually used her shower.
One day, I was partnered with this girl in woodshop I'd never met before. At first, she was kind of quiet and that wasn't really my style so I asked her a bunch of questions until I found something we could talk about. Her name was Emma and after that first day, we were the absolute best of friends. I'll always remember that friendship because of what happened the day after I first met Emma. I walked into homeroom and some popular girls were laughing about something. I sat down next to one and asked them what was going on and they told me. I don't remember what it was exactly, I just remember they were making fun of Emma. At that moment, I was faced with a tough decision because middle school is the peak of life when popularity matters the most. Up until then, I was pretty good friends with the popular girls and I knew I could make fun of Emma with them and be in the in-crowd for the rest of my grade school career. Instead, I got up from the desk I was sitting in and walked over to sit down next to Emma, ignoring the popular girls. I knew it would ruin my repuation but I liked talking to Emma and being a friend to her felt way better than being friends with those other girls. I introduced Emma to some friends I'd already had when she told me she just moved from Ohio. She introduced all of us to Sara, who also just moved from Ohio. So the five of us kind of stuck together for seventh grade and I can honestly say it was one of the best years of my entire academic life. Emma and I hung out all the time. We had sleepovers and watched horror movies like the Grudges but also watched chick flicks like She's the Man and John Tucker Must Die.
Truthfully, Emma and I never stopped being friends. We were put into separate sections in eighth grade and slowly grew apart as we made new friends. She decided to hang out with a crowd of people who were pretty much the entire opposite of me. I missed her and I missed having someone close but that was part of life. At the end of eighth grade, her mom was tired of her misbehavior and she pulled her out of school and moved the family back to Ohio, cutting Emma off from our town in the mean time. That was hard but it got to the point where it was a fun surprise getting an email from Emma and it was like having a virtual pen pal when I wrote her messages about my life and read messages about hers. Nowadays, we're friends on Facebook and she and I would have never kept our friendship thriving had she stayed in this town. I'm more traditional and old school and she's picking up new trends like piercing her septum and going to school for art. She's happy though, and I applaud her for that. I miss the confidence she used to instill in me.
Losing Emma was hard. Sara and I became really good friends in eighth grade but it wasn't the same because Sara wasn't someone I wanted to hang out with outside of school. In ninth grade, I became closer friends with Caitlin and Emily from seventh grade and even met some of the friends they'd made in eighth grade. My next best friend was someone I'd met during softball in middle school that I had homeroom with in ninth grade. We were comparing schedules on the first day and realized we had tons of classes together so we grew pretty close. Her name was Victoria and we were a pretty great team. She had the answers I didn't and I had the answers she didn't. She pushed me to be the best I could possibly be and I taught her to relax sometimes. We were at each other's houses all the time and I don't think an hour went by that we weren't communicating somehow. She and I were best friends all through ninth grade and tenth grade, despite her disapproval of my first boyfriend. There were other fake best friends between tenth and eleventh grade but Victoria and I were the ultimate best friends. We even went to homecoming together in eleventh grade. What happened, you might ask? It started with a major disapproval for my second boyfriend and everything just kind of snowballed until we just blew up one day and stopped being friends. In her absence, I mostly depended on my then-boyfriend for friendship and he loved the attention.
During my senior year, I became best friends with a freshman who was excited about high school and we blended so well because we were so much alike. On the first day, she needed somewhere to sit so I told her she could sit with me and my friends. She blended in well and she and I became so close we would spend entire weekends together and I actually used her shower.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Two Years Later
Two years ago, in a long white gown and matching cap, I walked across a stage with two hundred other young adults, signaling the end of our mandatory academic career. Some were enlisting, some were going off to college, and some knew they were just simlpy entering the work force. I, myself, was undecided. That's right, I was one of the losers who had no idea what life after high school entailed. During my entire high school career, I thought I would go to college. Though my exact education path was never fully decided, furthering my education at least, was. For some reason, though, when push came to shove, I was undecided. I graduated high school with plans to continue my minimum wage career at the Kmart. That's not even mediocre. That's below average. That's a D on my life's report card.
To be clear, I didn't intend to stay at Kmar for the rest of my life. Full time opportunities were few and far betwen, if they came along at all, and the word 'raise' at Kmart was like the name 'Voldemort' at Hogwarts. I remember feeling so low about myself as my peers all seemed so put together and ready for the future while I had no idea what my next step might be. My future looked like minimum wage, holiday hours, a car older than me, and spending my weekdays off lounging around with my boyfriend doing nothing. My friends had higher expectactions for themselves than I of myself. They had a purpose, a plan. And I was just letting my life go with the flow. Suffice to say, I felt like a failure.
Fast forward two years later and you'll see a completely new person (and not just because a double chin disguises me). I have an actual career, a 401K, a 2.5 karat ring on my left hand, and realtor.com in my browsing history. I'm twenty years old and I've begun to spread my wings and fly. I don't feel like a failure. For once in my life, I feel like I have everything pretty much together. I have medical benefits, a car I put the miles on, a fiance, and somewhat of a plan. Some of my classmates' plans have fallen through. Some have made terrible life decisions. And others aren't even alive anymore.
Growing up is real. It isn't for the faint of heart and anyone who sees the world through rose-colored glasses won't survive. You have to make every decision with every duck in a row. You have to prepare for anything and everything.
To be clear, I didn't intend to stay at Kmar for the rest of my life. Full time opportunities were few and far betwen, if they came along at all, and the word 'raise' at Kmart was like the name 'Voldemort' at Hogwarts. I remember feeling so low about myself as my peers all seemed so put together and ready for the future while I had no idea what my next step might be. My future looked like minimum wage, holiday hours, a car older than me, and spending my weekdays off lounging around with my boyfriend doing nothing. My friends had higher expectactions for themselves than I of myself. They had a purpose, a plan. And I was just letting my life go with the flow. Suffice to say, I felt like a failure.
Fast forward two years later and you'll see a completely new person (and not just because a double chin disguises me). I have an actual career, a 401K, a 2.5 karat ring on my left hand, and realtor.com in my browsing history. I'm twenty years old and I've begun to spread my wings and fly. I don't feel like a failure. For once in my life, I feel like I have everything pretty much together. I have medical benefits, a car I put the miles on, a fiance, and somewhat of a plan. Some of my classmates' plans have fallen through. Some have made terrible life decisions. And others aren't even alive anymore.
Growing up is real. It isn't for the faint of heart and anyone who sees the world through rose-colored glasses won't survive. You have to make every decision with every duck in a row. You have to prepare for anything and everything.
To A Girl: You don't need him
I can understand the spinning in your head. I can understand the confusion. He's no good for you but you still can't get him out of your mind. Want to know a secret? You don't need him.
The only reason he's still living rent-free in the depths of your dreams and the heights of your emotions is because you're letting him. There's something he provides for you that you're afraid you won't find somewhere else. The truth is, you can give it to yourself.
I bet he makes you feel beautiful.
I bet he makes you feel wanted.
I bet he makes you feel attractive.
I bet he makes you feel smart.
I bet he makes you feel irreplaceable.
And you are.
He wiggled his way into your subconsious by pushing your guard down. He told you things he knew you wanted to hear and you believed him. Now he's gone and you're trying to squeeze him into your life any way possible just so you can feel the things he makes you feel. You can't let him go because you're afraid your self worth will go with him. Well, let me tell you something. If your self-worth depends on someone else it's worthless.
Look in the mirror and actually see yourself. Don't wrinkle your nose at what you see, don't pick yourself apart. Tell yourself all the things you need to hear.
You are beautiful.
You are wanted.
You are attractive.
You are smart.
And you are irreplaceable.
You believed all those things when he said them to you because he repeated them and made sure you knew it. Take a look in the mirror every single day. Grap a dry-erase marker (or a Sharpie if you're feeling bold) and write those things on your mirror to see every morning and every night.
Stop staying in all the time. Go out and have a good time and you'll feel better instantly. Quit trapping yourself in this emotional prison because, quite honestly, you're the warden. Let yourself free. You don't need him and you definitely don't need his - or anyone else's - opinions to make you feel valuable. This world is a great place if you choose to live in it.
The only reason he's still living rent-free in the depths of your dreams and the heights of your emotions is because you're letting him. There's something he provides for you that you're afraid you won't find somewhere else. The truth is, you can give it to yourself.
I bet he makes you feel beautiful.
I bet he makes you feel wanted.
I bet he makes you feel attractive.
I bet he makes you feel smart.
I bet he makes you feel irreplaceable.
And you are.
He wiggled his way into your subconsious by pushing your guard down. He told you things he knew you wanted to hear and you believed him. Now he's gone and you're trying to squeeze him into your life any way possible just so you can feel the things he makes you feel. You can't let him go because you're afraid your self worth will go with him. Well, let me tell you something. If your self-worth depends on someone else it's worthless.
Look in the mirror and actually see yourself. Don't wrinkle your nose at what you see, don't pick yourself apart. Tell yourself all the things you need to hear.
You are beautiful.
You are wanted.
You are attractive.
You are smart.
And you are irreplaceable.
You believed all those things when he said them to you because he repeated them and made sure you knew it. Take a look in the mirror every single day. Grap a dry-erase marker (or a Sharpie if you're feeling bold) and write those things on your mirror to see every morning and every night.
Stop staying in all the time. Go out and have a good time and you'll feel better instantly. Quit trapping yourself in this emotional prison because, quite honestly, you're the warden. Let yourself free. You don't need him and you definitely don't need his - or anyone else's - opinions to make you feel valuable. This world is a great place if you choose to live in it.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Untitled
I bet you've heard of me. Everyone else has around this stupid town has. Well, I don't care too much because in just two days, I'm out of here. Well, for the most part. These past four years in high school have been so rough and I'm ready for them to be over. At this point, if college really is just the sequel, it's definitely not a place I want to be. For a hundred and eighty days each year for for years - that's seven hundred-twenty days! - I've dragged myself out of bed, walked through the halls, attended my classes and passed every single one with as 90% or higher. I've done my job and now it's finally time for me to move on. Right after our graduation ceremony, I was out the doors and I haven't looked back. There was no one I went to school with I cared to take pictues with, no teachers I wanted to say goodbye to, and no memories I wanted to reminisce on. I came right home and watched movies and fell asleep around two in the morning.
The first day of summer was seriously the best feeling in the world. I didn't have to get up early and force myself to go to that awful place. In fact, I never have to go back there again! It's great! For a week, I got to enjoy my last official summer vacation and I still have two days left! You might ask what happens next. Well, some of my peers are going of to college, some are entering the work force or military. I am doing something completely different. When I was in eleventh grade, I got word that my dad's distant great aunt Lolly had died. Truth be told, I'd never met the woman in all my sixteen years but yet I was the heir to everything she owned. Crazy, right?
I was in my room after school one evening, working on a project for school, and the doorbell rang. We were all kind of surprised because we never get visitors we aren't expecting. Even when we are expecting them, they use the back door. I thought it might just be someone peddling something but then I heard my mom come up the stairs and knock on my bedroom door. She said there was a lawyer in the living room asking for me. Her face was just as confused as my mind but I put down my markers and walked downstairs anyways. His name was Jackson Henry and his suit looked like it costed more than my car. The watch on his right wrist looked like my parent's retirement accounts couldn't even pay for it. Honestly, I thought our family was getting scammed until Mr. Henry laid a family tree out on our dining room table.
"Emily, at the bottom of this family tree is you. You were the end of my research. It took my a few months to track you down but I found you."
I looked down at the diagram and saw my parents' names above mine and then my dad's parents above his but the other names were unfamiliar. Dad leaned over and took a look but even he looked to the lawyer with questions. Mr. Henry removed his jacket and laid it over the back of one of our dining room chairs. I remember wondering if he considered us peasants. He cleared his throat and started to explain but I really wasn't listening. It sounded like I would just inherit someone's junk they thought was important all their life.
"Looking at the chart here, this is where I started," he said, pointing to the top where it said 'Lolly Farmer'.
Her birth year and death year were written under her name. If this guy wasn't wrong, Lolly had been a hundred and one when she'd died. The lawyer explained his way down the diagram and, basically, Lolly's husband had died when she was in her eighties and she never had any children but she wanted all of her possessions to stay within the family and the blood line just like they had when they'd gotten to her. Farmer is the family that Lolly had married into. Her maiden name, Royer, is my dad's side of the family. In fact, Lolly was my dad's great aunt.
"Lolly refused to name an heir at the time her will was written because there wasn't anyon to fulfill it twenty years ago. She wanted all her possessions to go to the next female of both the blood line and the family name. With your dad being an only child and his uncle being killed in World War II, no one fit the bill until you."
"When did she... you know... pass?"
"It was about three and a half months ago. I had to do some digging to find out where her family ties led to. No one around Forrestor knew. Which was practically crazy because everyone in that small little town is supposed to know everything about everyone. But, my research paid off because here you are!"
"So... what do I do now?"
"Technically... notthing. At least, not right now.
The first day of summer was seriously the best feeling in the world. I didn't have to get up early and force myself to go to that awful place. In fact, I never have to go back there again! It's great! For a week, I got to enjoy my last official summer vacation and I still have two days left! You might ask what happens next. Well, some of my peers are going of to college, some are entering the work force or military. I am doing something completely different. When I was in eleventh grade, I got word that my dad's distant great aunt Lolly had died. Truth be told, I'd never met the woman in all my sixteen years but yet I was the heir to everything she owned. Crazy, right?
I was in my room after school one evening, working on a project for school, and the doorbell rang. We were all kind of surprised because we never get visitors we aren't expecting. Even when we are expecting them, they use the back door. I thought it might just be someone peddling something but then I heard my mom come up the stairs and knock on my bedroom door. She said there was a lawyer in the living room asking for me. Her face was just as confused as my mind but I put down my markers and walked downstairs anyways. His name was Jackson Henry and his suit looked like it costed more than my car. The watch on his right wrist looked like my parent's retirement accounts couldn't even pay for it. Honestly, I thought our family was getting scammed until Mr. Henry laid a family tree out on our dining room table.
"Emily, at the bottom of this family tree is you. You were the end of my research. It took my a few months to track you down but I found you."
I looked down at the diagram and saw my parents' names above mine and then my dad's parents above his but the other names were unfamiliar. Dad leaned over and took a look but even he looked to the lawyer with questions. Mr. Henry removed his jacket and laid it over the back of one of our dining room chairs. I remember wondering if he considered us peasants. He cleared his throat and started to explain but I really wasn't listening. It sounded like I would just inherit someone's junk they thought was important all their life.
"Looking at the chart here, this is where I started," he said, pointing to the top where it said 'Lolly Farmer'.
Her birth year and death year were written under her name. If this guy wasn't wrong, Lolly had been a hundred and one when she'd died. The lawyer explained his way down the diagram and, basically, Lolly's husband had died when she was in her eighties and she never had any children but she wanted all of her possessions to stay within the family and the blood line just like they had when they'd gotten to her. Farmer is the family that Lolly had married into. Her maiden name, Royer, is my dad's side of the family. In fact, Lolly was my dad's great aunt.
"Lolly refused to name an heir at the time her will was written because there wasn't anyon to fulfill it twenty years ago. She wanted all her possessions to go to the next female of both the blood line and the family name. With your dad being an only child and his uncle being killed in World War II, no one fit the bill until you."
"When did she... you know... pass?"
"It was about three and a half months ago. I had to do some digging to find out where her family ties led to. No one around Forrestor knew. Which was practically crazy because everyone in that small little town is supposed to know everything about everyone. But, my research paid off because here you are!"
"So... what do I do now?"
"Technically... notthing. At least, not right now.
To My Ex-Boyfriend:
You know what's effed up?
We've been broken up for nearly two and a half years and you're still as heavy on my mind as you were on day one.
Countless times, I've deleted your number and blocked you on Facebook. Every little reminder possible around my room has been burned or thrown out. The written records I kept of our relationship have been stored away in a box on the stop shelf in my closet. They're my most personal and private journals and I wrote them to keep them all my life but I'm considering burning them, too, if this mental jail you have me in doesn't release me soon.
When I fall asleep at night, you haunt me in my dreams. When I sit down to write, you follow me in my words. When my boyfriend and I have a fight, I know it's your influence over my heart at the root of it. I know for an absolute fact that I would be with you if I wanted to be with you. I'm happy with someone new, maybe even happier. So why are you still here? Why are you clouding my subconscious?
You know what's effed up?
I've run out of ideas to get you out of my mind, in person and in spirit...
And, yet, you're still here.
We've been broken up for nearly two and a half years and you're still as heavy on my mind as you were on day one.
Countless times, I've deleted your number and blocked you on Facebook. Every little reminder possible around my room has been burned or thrown out. The written records I kept of our relationship have been stored away in a box on the stop shelf in my closet. They're my most personal and private journals and I wrote them to keep them all my life but I'm considering burning them, too, if this mental jail you have me in doesn't release me soon.
When I fall asleep at night, you haunt me in my dreams. When I sit down to write, you follow me in my words. When my boyfriend and I have a fight, I know it's your influence over my heart at the root of it. I know for an absolute fact that I would be with you if I wanted to be with you. I'm happy with someone new, maybe even happier. So why are you still here? Why are you clouding my subconscious?
You know what's effed up?
I've run out of ideas to get you out of my mind, in person and in spirit...
And, yet, you're still here.
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