I can understand the spinning in your head. I can understand the confusion. He's no good for you but you still can't get him out of your mind. Want to know a secret? You don't need him.
The only reason he's still living rent-free in the depths of your dreams and the heights of your emotions is because you're letting him. There's something he provides for you that you're afraid you won't find somewhere else. The truth is, you can give it to yourself.
I bet he makes you feel beautiful.
I bet he makes you feel wanted.
I bet he makes you feel attractive.
I bet he makes you feel smart.
I bet he makes you feel irreplaceable.
And you are.
He wiggled his way into your subconsious by pushing your guard down. He told you things he knew you wanted to hear and you believed him. Now he's gone and you're trying to squeeze him into your life any way possible just so you can feel the things he makes you feel. You can't let him go because you're afraid your self worth will go with him. Well, let me tell you something. If your self-worth depends on someone else it's worthless.
Look in the mirror and actually see yourself. Don't wrinkle your nose at what you see, don't pick yourself apart. Tell yourself all the things you need to hear.
You are beautiful.
You are wanted.
You are attractive.
You are smart.
And you are irreplaceable.
You believed all those things when he said them to you because he repeated them and made sure you knew it. Take a look in the mirror every single day. Grap a dry-erase marker (or a Sharpie if you're feeling bold) and write those things on your mirror to see every morning and every night.
Stop staying in all the time. Go out and have a good time and you'll feel better instantly. Quit trapping yourself in this emotional prison because, quite honestly, you're the warden. Let yourself free. You don't need him and you definitely don't need his - or anyone else's - opinions to make you feel valuable. This world is a great place if you choose to live in it.
