As I type, my fingers are being overcome by frostbite in this god-awfully cold building. Summer is officially over now and fall is close to its end as well. I'm not sure if the school forgot to turn on the heat or if they made some more budget cuts over the summer and this is one of them (they stopped supplying the nurse with emergency tampons!) but either way, I see blankets and sweatshirts everywhere. This is how its been since the very first day of school in Sunny September. Unfortuntely for me, I have a study hall for an hour and a half Every Single Day. Do you know how hard it is to sleep when you can't get warm. I just feel bad for all the skinny little girls without any insulation. Fleece and flannel, my dears!
My biggest worry since the start of senior year was supposed to be college. I'm waaay behind on the process and even paid a late fee to take my SATs in October so I could apply to colleges by now. But have you checked tuition rates lately? I can't afford $32,000 in loans to pay back. And that's just for an Associate's Degree. I admit, college has been a tad bit of my worries since my Banking & Finance teacher demanded that I go to college because there's no reason why I shouldn't (finances should never hamper someone with a dream). But the main chunk has definitely been Le Boyfriend. Areas of concern? His homework, his grades, his unemployment, and other things that his parental units should worry about. But here I am, staying awake at night, worrying about how my boat can float with this anchor attached to my ankles, when I should really just focus on my future and how I can better it.
For about two weeks, Garrett and I had this dream of moving to East Berlin, PA and live in a small apartment while attending classes at YTI. He would receive his certification in motorcycle mechanics and mine would come 12 months after as an Associate's Degree in Business Administration. How would that ever work when he doesn't have a job and I have the biggest shopping addiction in the planet? I don't want to leave home until I am good and ready. (18 is not good and ready...). Especially if I have a boyfriend that I would have to parent. That's just added responsibility that I don't need. But anyways, any hopes I have of the two of us being a team rather than me pulling dead weight are currently being crushed because he is failing math.If he doesn't pass this course, he will have to pay to retake it in summer school and will not walk with me at graduation. I told him at the beginning of the year that I had to focus on my school work and college applications and I couldn't babysit him. He told me he would be fine and not to worry. Just one single marking period without my close watch and he is failing math. How is he going to hold a job and take care of our family? How is he going to get through Tech school? I'll tell you how: If I hold his hand the entire time. No me gusta.
And on top of everything else, my period came twice this month for some unboknownst reason and the internet says that women get this all the time... as a signal of their first pregnancy. Lord have mercy on my soul!
