Let It All Go
Okay, I'm a bit of a Drama Queen - A lot a bit, actually. I've come to admit it to myself in the past few months. Of course I always blamed my problems in the past on everyone else. It wasn't me causing problems, it was the other girls involved. Eventually, though, I started to realize that all the only consistency in each friendship was me. With the help of a boyfriend (Boys are impervious to starting drama) I was given a reality check. Girls, though we hate to admit it, we can actually learn a lot from the male species and their naturally laid-back personalities.
Drama has four parts:
1) Romping [What pissed you off]
2) Reaction [How you respond to the problem]
3) Retaliation [Your actions of revenge]
4) Result [How everything plays out in the end]
And three to five characters:
1) Romper
2) Victim
3) Bystanders
(4) Bystanders on Romper's side - Rompisites
(5) Bystanders on Victim's side - Victisites
You can't control the Romping. If someone
does something to you that isn't okay with you,
you have the right to be upset. What you can
control is the way you respond to it (#2). As
far as different reactions, you have three
basic choices:
1) Anger
2) Self-Pity
3) Redirection
-Anger is when you get pissed at the otherperson and anyone else involved who isn't
on your side.
-Self Pity is feeling sorry for yourself and
trying to make other people feel sorry for
you, hoping it'll make them take your side.
-Redirection is turning your mind over to
something else, something more productive
and not letting the Romping (or the Romper)
under your skin.
The best choice? Redirection.
Keeping yourself calm and shaking it off are the
best things to do because anger only ruins one
person: yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself keeps
your mind focused the Romping, making the
situation escalade. Just stay calm and go fishing
or something.
Obviously, though, most people
won't think about what they're doing
and they'll just let their anger fly or
start thinking to themself about how
unfortunate they are. It's really easy
to do those things. While Redirection
is the best choice, it isn't the only
choice. And, your reaction is usually
natural and happens without your
realization. Which is why it's important
to pay attention to Part 3, because you
have total control over this. It's muy
importante that you use your head on
this one! Muy Importante!
RETALIATION
Your way of taking revenge on the Romper (And
possible Rompisites) isn't something that can be picked apart,
color coded and numbered. There are so many different
things that you can choose to do. The best thing, though, is to
eliminate Part 3 because it'll lead to a better Part 4. Seriously,
I've never heard of Good Revenge. Ever. While it may be fun, it
(once again) just escalades the situation. Think about it:
The Romper started it by doing something that upset you - Revenge
will just turn them into the Victim and you into the Romper. Then,
they can choose to take revenge on your revenge and the roles will
shift again and... Ah! It's just crazy and it never ends unless you end
it - Don't assume they will. I'm not saying you should wave your
white flag in truce. I'm just saying you should end the war by not
picking another battle.
Simple enough? Swallow your pride and move on.
Part IV: Result
Perhaps the best part is the very end when both sides move on and forget it ever happened. That's how most drama really is: petty, unnecessary and short-lasting. A lot of the time, the Romper and the Victim become friends a short time after. (NOT IN ALL CASES, THOUGH! And, repeated Romping usually signals someone who isn't worth the friendship - Tell her to get lost.) The waters will calm down and the boats will settle and sail away from each other. Part 4 is always my favorite. And it comes a LOT quicker if you don't let the Romping get under your skin.
Remember:
-Write it out (journal, blog, random piece of paper)
-Vent only to those you trust (Some of your Victimites might be Rompisite spies)
-Keep your mind off of it
-Try not to get revenge
-Let it go (Not necesarily forgive but try to forget)
